8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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