Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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