whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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