oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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