I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
