Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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