if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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