I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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