OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
