strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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