i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize