I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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