I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
