Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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