If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need to calm my uterus...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
