Small penises have feelings too.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
