Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
