he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
