There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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