Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I am spending my child support on dildos
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
