I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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