she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
