If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
