dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
there is glitter all over my balls
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
