so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Your cock deserves a montage
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
