he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
