I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The best revenge is premature balding
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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