Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
