there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
