Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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