Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize