weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I love having hate sex.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
