Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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