last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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