Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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