Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
