the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
