my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
