Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
