I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
