i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
