i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
