You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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