Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
