I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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