where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
