i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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