Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
