smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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