I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
