he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
