this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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